I want to share the deep things in my life that stir my heart and revelations from Jesus that I think others may gain from. And maybe some vacuous things too...
So much happened between me and my Heavenly Papa during this journey of asking God 40 questions in 40 days. When He first started answering my queries, it was extremely poetic (Day 2 - http://lifeshouldbefragrant.blogspot.ca/2013/03/tell-mewhat-you-are-like.html). As the discipline of questioning wound to a close, He resumed speaking to me in beautiful metaphors that were both achingly lovely and extremely personal to me. Day 38 - What is the Kingdom of God like?
The river trail. Water flowing abundantly, but you can slip and slide and flow freely. It is hedged by greenery, by lushness, by richness. You can float by, you can skate, you can walk, you can swim. It's your choice. Trails take you to secret places. Others take you to public places. It's your choice. As far as East is from the West, as far as the North is from the South, I flow. My Kingdom flows. It stretches to expanses. It is a meeting place at The Forks full of people of all tribes and tongues. It's your choice to step in. It's at the bottom of your street. There's always water at the bottom of My Kingdom. Rivers of life. Rivers of living water.
My Father God has an interesting way of communicating with me. He will often give me words or snippets and then urge me to research them. He knows I'm a trained journalist and that I will always discover some nugget of truth. Day 37: Where are You in all this?
God said: You don't have to feel anything Gaylene. Just know I'm in this.
I am delivering you from all the lies, all the wrongheaded ideas, all the wounding, all the pain, all the scariness, all of it, all of the darkness.
I am in it. I was always in it. All those broken places will be redeemed and reclaimed for Me. Reclaimed land....look into the meaning.
Being in ministry is not always easy; I have faced a lot of opposition, lies, push-back and straight up persecution. When I asked God this, near the end of the 40 days of questioning Him, I figured it was as good a time as any to ask about these things.
Day 36: Why is "it" like that?
What can be done? What did "that" happen? What do I need to know about "that"?
I wrote: It = Persecution from people in the justice system towards me and all of my boys swinging towards hate.
God replied: Gaylene you know this and have for many years, but the enemy is very intent on taking you out. He does not like seeing you model My godly love towards those young people.
He feeds lies, but you know it. They have no ground, no solid ground on which to stand. But you do. You need to STAND my girl. Yes Gaylene, you are my girl. You are not their "friend" you see. You are a mother figure and mother figures stand in love. They don't always show it. But they do. And THAT really irritates the enemy of your soul. The more healing you get - so you'll be able to stand in love - the better.
You know all this but maybe you needed to hear it for encouragement. Maybe you just needed to hear Me today. It's like that because you're doing what I would have you do.
This was a bit of a touchy subject for me since so many of my long cherished dreams seemed to go by the wayside when I became a Christian. I can't say this was the most satisfying response from God during the process of asking Him 40 questions, what with Him answering my question with a question... Day 35: What dreams do you want to awaken in me? Can You awaken a dream or desire that I had previously shelved?
I started: Okay here's the dreams I think I've squashed: marriage and babies, writing a book, a car, travel, golf, financial stability. Any of them pie in the sky? Are any of them what You want to awaken. I know it's just ME...fleshly, selfish, but I concede to Your authority. What dream would YOU like to awaken.
God said: Are you getting the picture Gaylene? Nothing will come between us. Nothing can stop My love for you. All of your dreams are possible when you partner with Me. So many more. So much more. So many of your dreams ARE my dreams and I want to awaken them in you. You don't want for too many things outside of My will, that is true. Let me do this? Will you let Me awaken your dreams? I replied: Yes Lord. I say yes.
Revisiting my 2011 journal where I asked God 40 questions in 40 days has been a far richer experience than I could ever have imagined. And sometimes oh-so-timely. He told me things then that made no sense at the time, but now are crystal clear. I'm so thankful that I did this. But this particular entry was just a wee awkward to revisit. I had conveniently forgotten all about this. Sigh.
Day 34: Will You guide me? Where are we headed? Psalm 48:14 says He will be our guide even to the end. Show me something about where my future lies.
God said: Why are you crying Gaylene? I replied: Listening to music I listened to with Dave. It hurts. I loved enjoying music with my husband...just to really sing along and not care and to discover new music. God continued: Yes Gaylene I will guide you. Yes it will involve another husband. Yes it will involve music. Yes I will guide you. I interjected: I'm not sure we hear correctly about our partners. I'm not sure we can. Gaylene. You hear correctly. And besides that you have excellent instincts about relationships. I'm surprised at how astute you are and I created you. Yes sometimes you protect our heart too much but on the whole I'm proud at the way you've held yourself pure. But I am guiding your relationships. I am in it. And I WILL NOT let you down. You will be surprised. The way your heart is wired about music touches my heart. You are not imagining anything my dear Gaylene. Not a thing. You do hear the Holy Spirit in songs, in voices, in melodies, in notes. Yes you do. Don't ever discount that. Do you think I will let you down and ask you to be with someone whose heart does not align with yours? His heart will be tender. His heart will be FULL of music. His heart will be a prayerful one...for you, your ministry, your family, his own concerns, justice...and more. His heart is in your hands and you will NOT mishandle it. I promise you, his heart is is fixed on Me, My Son, My concerns. His heart is crafted by me for you. Everything you tell young people about how hearts align is TRUE and they will see it and you will model it in your relationship. Just relax.
As far as East is from the West, as far as the North is from the South, I flow. My Kingdom flows. It stretches to expanses. It is a meeting place at The Forks full of people of all tribes and tongues. It's your choice to step in. 
He feeds lies, but you know it. They have no ground, no solid ground on which to stand. But you do. You need to STAND my girl. Yes Gaylene, you are my girl. You are not their "friend" you see. You are a mother figure and mother figures stand in love. They don't always show it. But they do. And THAT really irritates the enemy of your soul. The more healing you get - so you'll be able to stand in love - the better. 
I started: Okay here's the dreams I think I've squashed: marriage and babies, writing a book, a car, travel, golf, financial stability. Any of them pie in the sky? Are any of them what You want to awaken. I know it's just ME...fleshly, selfish, but I concede to Your authority. What dream would YOU like to awaken.
I interjected: I'm not sure we hear correctly about our partners. I'm not sure we can.
The way your heart is wired about music touches my heart. You are not imagining anything my dear Gaylene. Not a thing. You do hear the Holy Spirit in songs, in voices, in melodies, in notes. Yes you do. Don't ever discount that. 