war on grumbling day twelve

Day 12

Today I am thankful for open access to the throne of grace. Not a single thing I bring to the Most High God of the universe throws Him off or causes Him to turn away from me. My most pettiest irritation is important to Him, along with my heaviest burdens. #IHaveAHighPriest #ILoveJesus #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving

High Priest - Alisha Powell w/ Jaye Thomas

I have a High Priest who has passed through the heavens // 

I have a High Priest who has made intercession //

I have a High Priest, through His body He made a way //

Thank You for the wound in Your side //

You made a way for me, You made a way for me

My little War On Grumbling - Day 1

I must like the number 40. Or maybe just scared from reading what happened to the Israelites when they grumbled. But when I heard about the 40 days of thanksgiving campaign launched by Nayomi Thomas, author of The Thankables (and wife of my favorite IHOP-KC worship leader Jaye Thomas), something inside me immediately said yessss.

All I had to do was come up with something to be thankful for every day, post it on Facebook and include the hashtag #WarOnGrumbling so others could follow along. Easy right? Ha! What a journey...


I'm a nightwatcher by nature, so I decided to come up with my reason to be thankful for at midnight for 40 consecutive nights in November and early December 2013. 

Day 1

I'm thankful that God never ever does anything on just one level. It's mind-bending seeing the multitudes of layers He can work on and that never ceases to awe me.  #WarOnGrumbling

It was intriguing that I chose to do my little war of grumbling at the start of what I thought was a bad cold, but what turned out to be a nasty viral infection that lasted almost the entire 40 days. Oh the challenge of finding something to be thankful for when my body...just...wouldn't...heal. I was quite upset and a little freaked out, if I'm being honest. 

And then I had a moment of clarity. Although my body seemed to be failing, I suddenly realized my heart was being tested. Abba was prompting me to choose Him in the middle of this adversity. 

And honestly, a viral infection?! Pfft. I have several friends with life-threatening conditions and chronic illnesses and here I was whining about a really bad cold? It was a wake-up call for sure. Eventually it lifted, which is not something they get to experience very often. 

It definitely amped up my prayer life. I prayed...and prayed fervently...and prayed continually. I also asked for prayer from anyone who was asking, and even some people who weren't. My end gain was a lot more compassion to pray for my friends and what they are dealing with.

Then, every night around midnight, I'd sit down and decide what I was most grateful for...and there was so much. And for the first time, I got to truly grasp what counting it all joy REALLY meant. 

What is the Kingdom of God like?

So much happened between me and my Heavenly Papa during this journey of asking God 40 questions in 40 days. When He first started answering my queries, it was extremely poetic (Day 2 - http://lifeshouldbefragrant.blogspot.ca/2013/03/tell-mewhat-you-are-like.html). As the discipline of questioning wound to a close, He resumed speaking to me in beautiful metaphors that were both achingly lovely and extremely personal to me.

Day 38 - What is the Kingdom of God like?

The river trail. Water flowing abundantly, but you can slip and slide and flow freely. It is hedged by greenery, by lushness, by richness. You can float by, you can skate, you can walk, you can swim. It's your choice. Trails take you to secret places. Others take you to public places. It's your choice.

As far as East is from the West, as far as the North is from the South, I flow. My Kingdom flows. It stretches to expanses. It is a meeting place at The Forks full of people of all tribes and tongues. It's your choice to step in. 

It's at the bottom of your street. There's always water at the bottom of My Kingdom. Rivers of life. Rivers of living water.

Next: Show me Your Kingdom at work

Whose burdens do I carry?

Anyone who knows me has heard me say this: God never works on one level. His answer to this question was clear and yielded such extra illumination it was startling. And once again, everything made sense.

Day 19: Whose burdens do I carry?

Whose burden can I bring to You?
How do You see them and their burden?
What promises do You have for them?

God said: Your ex-husband.

My retort: How can I still be carrying this? How many years have I struggled? 

My Heavenly Daddy replied: Well you are and you know it. It's how you still beat yourself over your mistakes. Gaylene you were there at prayer, you know he's a wounded little boy. But he's my wounded little boy. I have salvation for him. Remember Israel..that's why I want you to remember. Remember his hunger; not in a mean way. This is why you pray for Jews the way you do...there is a connection to the hard heartedness. I have salvation for him, the one everyone thinks is Jewish. It's my promise Gaylene. You will see it.

I said: Do I want to?

God said: All those prayers Gaylene, of course you want to. Give the burden to me. I save souls. It's not yours to carry. You did not fail. You see, that's the burden. That when someone doesn't turn to me that you have failed. No you haven't. Take your ex-husband - the one you have prayed for the most - to the foot of the cross. Leave him there. Don't worry. Don't stop praying, but leave him here with me. I died for him too. His parents, his family. Leave them there with me. Trust me. Will you? 

Yes Lord. You're all I have, all I need.

God continued: Now let's talk about your disappointment with me in this. Are you ready to let it go Gaylene? Are you ready to see that I had it all worked out all along? 

Yes Lord. I'm sorry. I repent for holding it against You.

This is my promise to you: I HEAR YOUR PRAYERS but you need to understand my timing. It's absolute. I'm in control of it. I know when he will come. I knew the exact moment you would too. Lean into me and you will discover this more and more. Okay?

Yes Lord. I love you.

God finished: Let it go now Gaylene.

Next: What in my church causes You grief