#WarOnGrumbling Day 13

I'm so very grateful that I'm forgiven and because of it I can forgive others...and myself.

I don't quite know how else to say this: forgiveness is a badass act. I can forgive because I was first forgiven by Jesus Christ, who's given me the gift that keeps on giving.

Today, I went to another deeper level of forgiving someone (70x7, right?). Was it hard? Not really. Was it awkward? I think so. Was it necessary? Absolutely.

This, the power of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us
What a love! What a cost! 
We stand forgiven at the cross. 

#WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfForgiveness

war on grumbling day thirty five

Day 35 

I'm thankful that I am forgiven much. And because of it I can do the same. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving 

Without Jesus I pretty much suck. I am an inconsistent mess some days. I do and say things to the people I care about -- and more importantly the ones God loves -- that are unacceptable by any criteria. 

Today was not much different. But I'm not stuck there. I can forgive. Or in this case, apologize and ask for forgiveness. Is it easy? Oh no. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

The more I know, the less I understand //

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again //

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter //

But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter //

But I think it's about forgiveness, Forgiveness //

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Against whom do I hold hard feelings?

I spent 18 years in Alcoholic Anonymous before I got saved and one thing I learned was how to make list of people I resented. But - for me - walking with Jesus is an entirely different level and my Papa's perspective on holding resentments was enlightening to say the least.

Day 31: Against whom do I hold hard feelings?
Is there resentment or bitterness in my heart that I need to confess?
Do I need to approach the person? How do I see that person?
Are there wounds in my heart that I still want to heal?

I immediately started writing down the names of about a dozen people towards whom I knew I was holding hard feelings. 
I said: I forgive them Lord. I don't carry active resentments - except for a couple - but you're right I do hold hard feelings.

God replied: 
Relax Gaylene. I'm not bringing this up to condemn you.

I just want you to know there are poisons and toxins that you carry and you need to let them go.The antidote is forgiveness and giving them and the offenses to me. I don't want you walking around with toxins inside you. I want to wash you clean. Okay?

I answered: Yes Lord. I am willing to be clean.

Next: Is there anything hindering our friendship?