I want to share the deep things in my life that stir my heart and revelations from Jesus that I think others may gain from. And maybe some vacuous things too...
Oh those lies that pester us. Turns out my heavenly Daddy had been talking to me for some time about one in particular...and His answer this question was evidence that it was time for it to go for once and for all. Day 25: What lies will You dispel for me? God said: Yes Gaylene it's regarding your worth. Remember when you first left MARIA, I talked to you even then about your worth. You knew me then, you knew it was Me speaking. It's about your worth. The lie is that your life is hard and you were made to struggle and suffer. And the truth is you have IMMEASURABLE WORTH to me. You are so valuable I could fill a book.
I asked: Really? How can that be true? He countered: Why do you doubt me? I said: Well I'm so fragile and messed up and broken and fleshly.
God replied: Gaylene you see; you can admit it. So many can not, will not, DON'T. But you do. It's a lie that your life has no value, that you're just a pawn in some such game I'm playing. You life has worth, value. You are more valuable than rubies, pearls, all the gems. You are mine. More valuable than all the flowers, all the beautiful things in a garden. HOW MUCH MORE GAYLENE do I love you? I want you to dispel this lie to agree with Me. Agree with me. I wrote: YES LORD. He continued: I can't have you walking on this earth for even another day not understanding your worth and value to me, to the prayer movement, to the Bride, to the people on your heart. Stop devaluing yourself. This is ME Gaylene telling you this. I love you beyond measure.
Even before I got saved I would ask God what He would have me do. Every day in fact. As I progressed through the 40 questions in 40 days, God's answers made sense of things He had been telling me for years...and endure even until today.
Day 24: What is the best use of my day?
God said: Walk and pray.
That Joshua Scripture was not by accident. It spoke to you then and it's speaking to you today.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." (Joshua 1:9)
I replied: Set a garden in my soul that I can't contain. I want more of You God. Next: What lies will You dispel for me?
Continuing with my practice of asking God questions over a 40 day period. His answers about my community yielded some intriguing perspectives.
Day 23: What in my community brings You joy? Where are the bright spots? Why do these things bring You joy? How can I get involved? Restore my hope in my community as I see them through Your eyes. Show me what You are up to so I can rejoice with You.
God said: A Jewish mayor who is open to Christians and my issues. I was a bit startled and replied: Really? Really Gaylene. Why would you doubt that? It's not just manipulative for votes. It's a true hunger for deeper things. There are more like him. More Jews that desire Me, desire My Son, that haven't even heard the gospel yet they yearn. That brings me joy. Because only My Son will do. They don't know the full story but they ARE the full story. Now think about it...it's no coincidence that you have a Jewish Christian-friendly mayor. It's significant. It means something. It's PROPHETIC in fact.
Why not ask God about your community? Like me, you might be taken aback at what He has to say about the things you can do to affect change. It doesn't take much.
Day 22: What in my community causes You grief? Why does it grieve You? How do You want me to respond? Shall I pray? Shall I speak out? Shall I act?
I wrote: I'm scared to ask this question for some reason. God said: The same thing that drives you...marginalized people being left aside. Aboriginal people and their plight in your city and country. People who are precious to me being invisible. Each of them are precious to me, Gaylene.
I said: How do you want me to respond? God replied: Look into their eyes. They want to be acknowledged like anyone. You don't need to give money but I do ask for you to acknowledge them with love. Of course you shall pray. You already do. Simple prayers I do not despise Gaylene. Act when the Spirit prompts. You know.
A couple years ago I asked God 40 questions over 40 days as prescribed in a book called "Rivers from Eden: 40 Days of Intimate Conversation with God" by Brad and Eden Jersak. In the process I learned so much about His heart for me, His people and, in this case, His church. Day 21: What in my church brings You joy? Why does it bring You joy? What activities in our church are You blessing right now? Are these ministries for which I should be praying? To which I should be giving? For which I should be serving?
God said: Well I'm enamored with SHOP. Single-minded devotion to me. It's like Brian says...nothing takes you off your game. Your game is to intercede for the plans and purposes I desire. I want more of this. More worship. More prayer. More intercession. The things you experience will be happening soon all day and all night. It brings me joy because above all it's necessary. I need it to see my plans, my love, my Son coming forth.
No program in itself will do this. Alpha is fine...it schooled you to be in this place. They all have ripple effects but they're not the real stories. The real story is people proclaiming the return of my Son Jesus Christ to rule the earth. From Jerusalem. About Israel. You see, these three must be the focus. SHOP is focused on it.
Other churches are coming. Other denominations. I'm waking people up in droves. You in the middle of the night times a thousand. You will see this in the middle of the morning, afternoon, evening. I won't give up until others see this and come around. Next: What in my community causes You grief?
Apparently when you ask God about His church, His precious Bride, He has lot to say. Day 20: What in my church causes You grief? Is there a stain on the bride's dress? (This question about the Bride of Christ is not for ammunition, but to repent.)
God said: None of the extra trappings matter. I just want my people to focus on Me. That's it. If they focus on me and not the room, not the outfits, not the things, not the stuff, nothing else will matter. I don't care about the stuff, I care about you, My people fixed on Me. If everyone did...fixed on Me...they wouldn't have to develop programs, do things etc. They will because of me, not because of a church, a building or the trappings or a program. And if you bring 20, 40, 50, 100, 500, 1000, 5000 people focused on me together. Well you see what I'm getting at. You will do what is needed anyways. Because you will hear My voice. That despair in your heart about the spinning globe and the lights and the jumping and the gyrating is well founded. I wonder a lot about it.
I was aghast and asked God: Really? You're for real going to reveal this to me? God answered: Yes Gaylene, you. Think to the simple country churches you've been to in St. Laurent and Victoria Beach. Do you think I care any less for those people because their buildings have less stuff? No.
I want people with their eyes and their hearts focused on Me. I want more people like that. All the rest will follow. I'm not looking for churches with programs and numbers and stuff. I'm looking for fully devoted believers of My Son Jesus Christ. That's it.
Anyone who knows me has heard me say this: God never works on one level. His answer to this question was clear and yielded such extra illumination it was startling. And once again, everything made sense.
Day 19: Whose burdens do I carry?
Whose burden can I bring to You? How do You see them and their burden? What promises do You have for them? God said: Your ex-husband. My retort: How can I still be carrying this? How many years have I struggled? My Heavenly Daddy replied: Well you are and you know it. It's how you still beat yourself over your mistakes. Gaylene you were there at prayer, you know he's a wounded little boy. But he's my wounded little boy. I have salvation for him. Remember Israel..that's why I want you to remember. Remember his hunger; not in a mean way. This is why you pray for Jews the way you do...there is a connection to the hard heartedness. I have salvation for him, the one everyone thinks is Jewish. It's my promise Gaylene. You will see it.
I said: Do I want to? God said: All those prayers Gaylene, of course you want to. Give the burden to me. I save souls. It's not yours to carry. You did not fail. You see, that's the burden. That when someone doesn't turn to me that you have failed. No you haven't. Take your ex-husband - the one you have prayed for the most - to the foot of the cross. Leave him there. Don't worry. Don't stop praying, but leave him here with me. I died for him too. His parents, his family. Leave them there with me. Trust me. Will you? Yes Lord. You're all I have, all I need. God continued: Now let's talk about your disappointment with me in this. Are you ready to let it go Gaylene? Are you ready to see that I had it all worked out all along? Yes Lord. I'm sorry. I repent for holding it against You.
This is my promise to you: I HEAR YOUR PRAYERS but you need to understand my timing. It's absolute. I'm in control of it. I know when he will come. I knew the exact moment you would too. Lean into me and you will discover this more and more. Okay? Yes Lord. I love you. God finished: Let it go now Gaylene.
