war on grumbling day 40

Day 40

I'm thankful for the fragrance of my Hallelujah. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving 

Today was one of those days when I get to marvel how God uses and works through me. I'm still not 100 per cent better from a chest infection, but I had lunch with a young lady I'm discipling and met with the chaplain at  the Manitoba Youth Centre about doing one-on-one jail ministry. Later on, we had dinner with a young man whose entire life has been consumed by hard drug use and ran into a lovely young prostitute I'd encountered several weeks earlier, and were able to love on and pray for both.

This life walking with Jesus is rewarding and rich and hard too. But it's on days like this, in the middle of my own struggles, that I can't help but praise Him and love Him even more than yesterday. I may not be partaking in American Thanksgiving today, but I'm grateful to declare Worthy is the Lamb who was slain.

How gracious is My redeemer, King Jesus, the Son of the Highest //

What could I possibly give to You, but the fragrance of my Hallelujah //

Praise be to the Wounded One // Glory and honor to the Son //

We ascribe worth and give love to You Lord //

Let the fragrance of our love go forth

war on grumbling day thirty nine

Day 39 

I'm thankful that I have friends and community who hold me up in times of trouble. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving 

When I first started going to Sanctuary House of Prayer (SHOP), I attended Tuesday evening intercession meetings at the home of one of the worship leaders. During that time, an incredibly lovely young Somali man who'd always supported my ministry was murdered senselessly and it turned out I also knew the accused murderer. Needless to say, I was distraught and entirely discouraged. That Tuesday night group offered to pray and prophesy over me, and one of the women gave me Exodus 17:11-13 as encouragement. It was Scripture that I'd never heard before and it was so perfect.

As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning,but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

I need my friends and community to hold up my hands when I'm tired from the battle. We all do. I'm so grateful to the people I can go to and ask for advice, prayer or encouragement no matter how bleak the circumstances. And for that I'm so deeply grateful.

I just might have a problem that you'll understand //

We all need somebody to lean on //

Lean on me, when you're not strong //

And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on //

For it won't be long til I'm gonna need //

Somebody to lean on

war on grumbling day thirty eight

Day 38

I'm thankful that God sees me entirely different from the way I see myself. But I'm coming around to His way of thinking. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving

Girl Holding Lily - John Simmons

Tonight I was out with a group of the young laid down lovers of Christ who I dig spending time with. One of them gave me a prophetic word that was something I've heard repetitively over the past decade from the Lord Himself and several other people. And I think it's high time that I receive it. 

It's purity. The word in Greek is katharos, meaning clean, pure, unstained, either literally or ceremonially or spiritually; guiltless, innocent, upright. I'm not going to lie, given my past, it's been a tall order accepting that not only does the Lord see me as pure, I am exactly that. But with healing and truth, I can finally say that purity is part of my identity. Mission accomplished Papa. O how I love You.

Cause there's a lack // There’s a gap in my soul //

Between the things that I believe and I know //

So Holy Spirit You who fill all and all //

Come and fill me // Holy Spirit, come and hold me together //

So I fall into grace again // Like a child I am

war on grumbling day thirty seven

Day 37 

I'm thankful that I see beauty everywhere. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving 

This morning was -15C. Cold. As I was taking out the recycling, my breath was taken away by the Golden Boy atop of our provincial legislature with the sun creeping up behind. It was starkly beauteous in a way I can't quite describe. 

You must understand. I see beauty EVERYWHERE. I am dumbfounded at hoarfrost and awestruck by sunsets no matter if they're lakeside or in the hood. I'm mindblown by aurora borealis, agog at misty mornings, astounded by wildflowers in garbage strewn ditches and enthralled by canola fields...and well...I could go on and on. 

I love that God made me this way. This world is His creation and it's like I get to partner with Him when He shows me little nuances that others notice, but don't always seem to fully appreciate. 

I was listening to Phil Wickham this morning and honestly no one expresses it better:

I see Your face in every sunrise //

The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes //

The world awakens in the light of the day //

I look up to the sky and say You're beautiful //

I see Your power in the moonlit night //

Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright //

We are amazed in the light of the stars //

It's all proclaiming who You are, You're beautiful

war on grumbling day thirty six

Day 36 

I'm thankful for the Lord of breakthroughs. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving 

It's pretty astounding how many breakthroughs I've experienced with the Lord. But I have to say the only thing better is getting to participate in other people's breakthroughs. Whether it's through loving or contending in prayer, I always find it exhilarating. It gives me a fresh infusion of hope and the solid assurance that God's heart is all about breakthrough for each of His kids.

Bob Dylan - Cover Down, Break Through

You've got an image of yourself  // You've built by yourself alone //

But it will come a-tumblin' down // Just like the walls are made of stone //

You will be separated from everything you seem to be //

You think you'll be liberated //

Yeah, but the grave won't set you free //

You've got to cover down, cover down, break through //

Cover down, cover down, break through 

war on grumbling day thirty five

Day 35 

I'm thankful that I am forgiven much. And because of it I can do the same. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving 

Without Jesus I pretty much suck. I am an inconsistent mess some days. I do and say things to the people I care about -- and more importantly the ones God loves -- that are unacceptable by any criteria. 

Today was not much different. But I'm not stuck there. I can forgive. Or in this case, apologize and ask for forgiveness. Is it easy? Oh no. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

The more I know, the less I understand //

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again //

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter //

But my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter //

But I think it's about forgiveness, Forgiveness //

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

war on grumbling day thirty four

Day 34 

I'm thankful that My Saviour, who is so worthy to receive all glory, honour and power, sees me as a woman of worth. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving 

A couple years ago, Papa spoke to me about my worth: What lies will You dispel for me?  

It's been quite the journey coming around to God's way of thinking, In fact it's been long hard-fought battle through failed relationships, betrayal, pain, self defeat and straight up self hatred. 

But He has mercifully walked alongside me through the lies, vows and crooked thoughts, and step by step showed me the way He sees me. Every once in a while, I come up for air and view myself through God's eyes. And those days I know I'm a woman who has value far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10) and who is worthy of love and new beginnings.

No need to read between the lines spell it out for you //

Just hear this song cause you can't go wrong when you value 

// 

A woman's worth