Day 9 of asking questions of God brought about a significant development in my relationship with Him. Instead of me asking a question and then waiting for His answer, we actually started to converse back and forth on the page...something that continues to this day. And this began because I was quite honestly...reticent to ask the question.
Day 9 - Do You have a gift me today?
I wrote: Lord I'm scared to ask You for a gift. I ask for things...I ask for money...and I know I kind of screw it all up. I asked for a computer and it's okay but kind of messed up. I asked for money and I get it but I'm still in debt. So honestly I get scared to ask. I know I have a corrupted view of You. I admit it. I feel pressure in my chest wanting to ask. I feel sinful beyond compare. My house is a mess. I'm lazy. I read about Solomon's wisdom...and well I'm afraid to ask. When will I get this all right? When will I feel like I AM standing on a rock? When I will I be able to receive from You? Really receive Your blessings, which You already gave me, but I just can't seem to grasp.
God said: Put your pen on the paper Gaylene. Write this down - I love you. I died for you.
You will see me today in a new way, I assure you. Everything you prayed about, hope for will come to pass. Everything...but that's not even my gift to you. It's my assurance to you that you CAN rely on Me. That you CAN lean on me. By day's end, you will understand. There's much to come before the end of this day and all of it will prove to you who I am.
I love that you desire to see my face, to understand my deity. I love that you are willing for more healing...for more. My gift to you is MORE, BIGGER, WIDER, DEEPER, HIGHER than you can ever imagine.
The party starts now. I'm celebrating you Gaylene and where you're at. You my darling. My beautiful daughter.
Why are you crying?
I answered: I can't believe you think that way about me.
God replied: BELIEVE Gaylene. MORE.
Next: What gift can I offer you today?