Who can I encourage today?

Oh my Heavenly Daddy...always throwing me curve balls. Here I thought I was going to get some ideas on who to serve and He makes it all about me. O how I love Him and the way He corrects me. Apparently I was seeking encouragement from people more than The One who created me in the first place. 

Day 29: Who can I encourage today?

God said: Gaylene I want you to encourage you. Just like David did. Get used to doing it to you, your little girl and it will come easier for others.

I retorted: Is this a joke? Like for real? Come on...

God replied: I know you heard me...that's why the tears. If you do this and do this often, it will cancel out all the discouragement you struggle with so often. Can you do this for me? Can you start encouraging yourself? I'm in you and so I'm in it. This way you will not look to others for encouragement as much. And hopefully never. Can you do this? 

I answered: Yes Lord, I can.

Next: Who have I judged?

What promise do You have for me today?

Truth be told...I struggle with alot with my Christian faith. I know for real that I was saved by Jesus, but sometimes I find it a bit of a stretch believing everything the Bible says about me. I hesitated asking this question for several days because I was unsure what it would reveal. Turns out He really does always keep His promises...

Day 28: What promise do You have for me today?

God said: Why are you putting off asking me?

I wrote: I don't know. I guess because I still don't believe many of the biblical promises are for me. Then I have to admit I'm a, y'know, BAD Christian because I don't even believe the fundamentals of my faith.

God replied: Gaylene, Gaylene, Gaylene stop. I'm never going to take my eyes off you. I can't turn away. I don't shake my head and kiss my teeth like humans Gaylene. I'm  not going to do that to you.

My presence is your promise. It will never leave you. I got you this far and I'm NOT going to withdraw it. What you do about it is your decision, but I WILL NOT WITHDRAW MY PRESENCE from you. And yes, there's more. So much more. More than you can POSSIBLY imagine.

Next: Who can I encourage today?

Where will I see You today?

The coolest thing about posting from my journal two years ago - when I asked God 40 questions in 40 days - is realizing how I didn't fully grasp what He was telling me at the time. It's been so incredibly timely and useful to revisit what He said to me then. He does, after all, transcend time...

Day 27: Where will I see You today?
Where will I notice You? 
This question is essentially daring the Lord to show Himself in the earthly realm...

God said: Gaylene you notice me.

I replied: I don't know Lord...maybe in nature, yes. But other than that?

God answered: Listen. You will hear me. You hear me in so many ways. In music, in voices, in waves, in the wind, in white noise, but I want you to hear me more. Will you commit to listen, I have so much more to tell you. You see me. You will see more today. Understand more.

I said: Why do I feel so flat? Because I can't believe that I even hear You enough or see enough. I am so selfish, self-absorbed and right now so prayerless.

God interjected: That's a lie Gaylene and you even know it is. You will see that today. You will see My plan in phone calls, in your prayers and how you walk where you walk.

Next: What promise do You have for me today?

Where do you want to meet me today?

When God first asked me to minister to African youth - many of them gang involved - little did I know I'd be dealing with murder. Four murders. It's been heart-wrenching and hard, but I do now see His hand in it all. But that has come because of my own wrestling with Him. The following question and answer came after one such murder of a young Somali man who always supported me in the streets and was one of the bright lights in my ministry. His murder was not only devastating to his family and many of the kids I know, it brought with it a backlash against me that was astounding to say the least. But my heavenly Papa always comes through with peace and perspective. O how I love Him.

Day 26: Where do you want to meet me today?

God said: I'm going to meet you in all that pain and confusion. Never fear my daughter I know what I'm doing. Just be aware of my feelings in this situation. My heart hurts for everyone involved. It was not intended to be from the garden to the graveyard like this.




I cried out: Why did it have to happen and why do I have to be in the middle and why do I even have to know?

He replied: Trust Gaylene. Trust in me. That opposition is because you are in the right place. Exactly where I planted you. Doing what I asked you to do. Feel the pain. Feel the stress. Feel my heart but don't hold onto it. It is intended so you pray, intercede and your prayer and intercession MATTERS. 

I hear you. So I want to meet you in your prayers. I trust you with my secrets.

Next: Where will I see You today?