Anyone who knows me has heard me say this: God never works on one level. His answer to this question was clear and yielded such extra illumination it was startling. And once again, everything made sense.
Day 19: Whose burdens do I carry?
Whose burden can I bring to You?
How do You see them and their burden?
What promises do You have for them?
God said: Your ex-husband.
My retort: How can I still be carrying this? How many years have I struggled?
My Heavenly Daddy replied: Well you are and you know it. It's how you still beat yourself over your mistakes. Gaylene you were there at prayer, you know he's a wounded little boy. But he's my wounded little boy. I have salvation for him. Remember Israel..that's why I want you to remember. Remember his hunger; not in a mean way. This is why you pray for Jews the way you do...there is a connection to the hard heartedness. I have salvation for him, the one everyone thinks is Jewish. It's my promise Gaylene. You will see it.
I said: Do I want to?
God said: All those prayers Gaylene, of course you want to. Give the burden to me. I save souls. It's not yours to carry. You did not fail. You see, that's the burden. That when someone doesn't turn to me that you have failed. No you haven't. Take your ex-husband - the one you have prayed for the most - to the foot of the cross. Leave him there. Don't worry. Don't stop praying, but leave him here with me. I died for him too. His parents, his family. Leave them there with me. Trust me. Will you?
Yes Lord. You're all I have, all I need.
God continued: Now let's talk about your disappointment with me in this. Are you ready to let it go Gaylene? Are you ready to see that I had it all worked out all along?
Yes Lord. I'm sorry. I repent for holding it against You.
This is my promise to you: I HEAR YOUR PRAYERS but you need to understand my timing. It's absolute. I'm in control of it. I know when he will come. I knew the exact moment you would too. Lean into me and you will discover this more and more. Okay?
Yes Lord. I love you.
God finished: Let it go now Gaylene.
How do You see them and their burden?
What promises do You have for them?
God said: Your ex-husband.
My retort: How can I still be carrying this? How many years have I struggled?
My Heavenly Daddy replied: Well you are and you know it. It's how you still beat yourself over your mistakes. Gaylene you were there at prayer, you know he's a wounded little boy. But he's my wounded little boy. I have salvation for him. Remember Israel..that's why I want you to remember. Remember his hunger; not in a mean way. This is why you pray for Jews the way you do...there is a connection to the hard heartedness. I have salvation for him, the one everyone thinks is Jewish. It's my promise Gaylene. You will see it.
God said: All those prayers Gaylene, of course you want to. Give the burden to me. I save souls. It's not yours to carry. You did not fail. You see, that's the burden. That when someone doesn't turn to me that you have failed. No you haven't. Take your ex-husband - the one you have prayed for the most - to the foot of the cross. Leave him there. Don't worry. Don't stop praying, but leave him here with me. I died for him too. His parents, his family. Leave them there with me. Trust me. Will you? Yes Lord. You're all I have, all I need.
God continued: Now let's talk about your disappointment with me in this. Are you ready to let it go Gaylene? Are you ready to see that I had it all worked out all along?
Yes Lord. I'm sorry. I repent for holding it against You.
Yes Lord. I love you.
God finished: Let it go now Gaylene.
Next: What in my church causes You grief
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