I want to share the deep things in my life that stir my heart and revelations from Jesus that I think others may gain from. And maybe some vacuous things too...
Showing posts with label War on Grumbling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label War on Grumbling. Show all posts
I'm thankful I can be honest. Today was one of the more taxing days of my life. And I definitely did some grumbling. Then I got stuck at a long slow train trying to get to the prayer room on time and I may have even shook my fist at God. I'm so glad I can be truthful about my shortcomings, that I can repent to the Most High God and know that I am forgiven. And I hope -- no I know -- tomorrow will be a better day. Preserve me oh God // Let not shame stand in my way // For I have no good apart from You // But I keep running after broken cisterns // That never satisfy
Deciding to choose gratitude over complaining is harder than it sounds. Right now, I'm in a difficult period of grief and intentionally choosing to war against grumbling has been so helpful in past years. So for the next 40 days at around midnight, I plan to review my previous 24 hours and find something to be thankful for.
Tonight, I'm thankful for changing seasons. I have always adored fall, but because I'm such a cottage fan, swimmer and beach sunset junkie, it's not as evident. However, in the wake of my father's death, this last summer was a bit muted than most.
Because of this, I've intentionally taken note of every note, every iota of this autumn from the first falling leaf and the crisp night air to the entire new palette of colors, the harvest moon and the precious last nights I could sleep on my purple porch.
It's a new season and not just outside my window. Things are different on the inside. I am fundamentally changed and frankly, it doesn't always feel swell. But because I know God's is with me and I see His work in my life, I am thankful.
I'm thankful that I have friends and community who hold me up in times of trouble. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving When I first started going to Sanctuary House of Prayer (SHOP), I attended Tuesday evening intercession meetings at the home of one of the worship leaders. During that time, an incredibly lovely young Somali man who'd always supported my ministry was murdered senselessly and it turned out I also knew the accused murderer. Needless to say, I was distraught and entirely discouraged. That Tuesday night group offered to pray and prophesy over me, and one of the women gave me Exodus 17:11-13 as encouragement. It was Scripture that I'd never heard before and it was so perfect. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning,but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning.When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset.So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword. I need my friends and community to hold up my hands when I'm tired from the battle. We all do. I'm so grateful to the people I can go to and ask for advice, prayer or encouragement no matter how bleak the circumstances. And for that I'm so deeply grateful.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand //
I'm thankful to discover really swell leftovers in my fridge after a crazy day. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving
Today I looked after the Sudanese-Canadian sisters and what a day. Taught them how to bake, took them to an art drop-in and they ended up on a float for the Santa Clause parade. Between refereeing their disagreements, marching them through thousands of Winnipeggers in subzero temps and their constant chatter and inquiries, I found my usual calm demeanor slowly disintegrating. Seriously, how do parents do this day in and day out? I'm exhausted after just nine hours with the dynamic duo...
After we cleaned up their messes and they left with their older sister, I took a deep breath and contemplated dinner. And upon peering in my fridge, lo and behold I found leftovers from my favorite uber-authentic Szechuan Chinese restaurant and some yummy Vietnamese hot and sour soup from lunch yesterday. Nothing overly profound to be sure, but I am so grateful.
I'm at the borderline of my faith // I'm at the hinterland of my devotion // In the frontline of this battle of mine, but I'm still alive // I'm a soldier of love every day and night // I'm soldier of love all the days of my life
Today I'm thankful for music and what it does for my soul. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving What a special invention music is. Created by God. Designed for me. This morning could've been like any other. But I sent someone a song that I thought would touch their heart. It ended up touching mine.
Photo credit: Heidi Phillips
The result was bouts of weeping and that good ole mixture of awe and wonder at lyrics, melody, choruses...oh I could go on and on. And like the good addict I am, I needed more. All day long. Until tomorrow when another song, another artist -- maybe someone new, perhaps an old friend -- will tickle my fancy. And thus, the cycle will go on and on.
Oh, God, I let intruders into the garden of my soul // Foxes are running wild //
I thought You were holding out on me now to keep me from being free //
How could I have been so wrong // Forgive me, forgive me, Lord // For living like I'm not Yours I forget how kind You are
I'm thankful because I know that I can trust You. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving It's so interesting how Jesus has beckoned me to trust Him over the past decade. There are a couple situations where He continually asks me to lean on Him...and then always comes through. As I struggle with doubt and confusion, He cuts through and whispers "I got this Gaylene." And when I hear the tone of His voice, I just know. Do I always listen? Nope. But I know I can. And I know He will ALWAYS come through for me if I just stand, believe, trust and lean on that voice.
I know that I can trust You //
I lean not on my own understanding // My life is in the hands of the maker of heaven
I will climb this mountain with my hands wide open //
There's nothing I hold on to //
I am so in love with You, there is no one else for me
Today I'm thankful that even when I make mistakes, I can be kind to myself.
#WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving
Whoa Nelly what a change I have made in this area. I used to beat myself on the inside for the most minute of errors. Recently I made a rather large gaffe in a story that ran in our local newspaper. A good editor or fact checker could've caught it, but the bungle clearly originated with me. No one was more surprised than me when I took responsibility for it immediately and did not hold it against myself.
This about-face unquestionably stems from the revelation that my Heavenly Papa loves me and is not waiting for me to slip up with a set of punishments. He brings me out of the mire of shame and guilt with love. And for that I'm deeply grateful and more besotted with Him than ever before.
Here I am // Just a child on the earth
I feel so small // But you remind me what I'm worth
In a moment I would lay my whole life down just to know You
And I just want to hear the Father's song singing over me
I'm thankful that my Abba Father is absolutely limitless. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving Tonight at Sanctuary House of Prayer, our 8:30pm worship team sang a chorus that once again struck me: "There are no limits to Your love."
And immediately I recalled what Meredith Andrews said in the recent movie Holy Ghost: "What if we said -- collectively as the church -- okay God, no more boxes. No more limits. No more we have to control everything. Just give God total control. Yeah, it's scary but I think that's the way we were meant to live." That's the way I want to live.
You're limitless, nothing's too hard for You //
You're limitless, there's nothing You cannot do //
You are bigger and You're greater and You're stronger I know //
You're limitless, You're limitless //
I'm saying goodbye to any limitation // I'm saying hello to the God of all creation
Today I'm thankful that my Heavenly Papa has called me, of all people, to be a mother to many. It's an awe-inspiring picture of His redemptive restoration work in my life.
#WarOnGrumbling #HoodMom
Not a week goes by when I'm not astounded on some level at how God somehow trusts me to guide the lives of young people. Especially when you consider my past poor choices regarding the sanctity of life, it showcases the miraculous grace and mercy of Jesus personified and put in action. O how I love Him.
I'm thankful for what I like to call my so-called African life. I asked God for Africa...He gave it to me here on the prairies. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving
I'm continually astounded at how the Lord has seamlessly woven me into different African communities here in Winnipeg. And given me dozens sweet and beautiful young men and women to co-parent in various ways. It's such a picture of His restoration, love and perfect leadership in my life.
So much love to share // I just can't see how we livin' without it So much love to care // Don't miss, don't miss one moment about it So much love to share// Resist this bliss, oh, I really doubt it
I'm thankful that God gives me revelation and lets me in on His secrets about His Kingdom. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving
There's several rather difficult situations I've been praying for as of late. Earlier today, while in the shower, I was struck with crystal clear information about one of them and how to pray. It came via information I'd watched earlier in a totally unrelated video. I am always humbled that He trusts me with His secrets, because there's nothing quite like receiving His revelation and strategies direct from the throne.
All treasures of wisdom and things to be known // Are hidden inside your hand
And in this fortunate turn of events // You ask me to be your friend
I'm thankful for my walk with God...literally. Today I walked 10 kilometres throughout several Winnipeg neighborhoods on a spectacular autumn day. My philosophy towards prayer on long walks like that is go big or go home.
With every step forward, my prayers seem go higher and as I go along God often reveals His heart for His people and this city. #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving
I'm so thankful that I can approach God with childlike wonder. #ConsistentlyInAwe #WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving
May we never lose our wonder // Wide eyed and mystified // May we be just like a child // Staring at the beauty of our King // Cause You are beautiful in all Your ways //
Here I am again. In the trenches fighting against offense, daily irritations and a million other things. Looks like it's time for another 40 Days of Thanksgiving aka the War on Grumbling. Last year, I gained massive perspective on my tendencies and kicked my prayer life into high gear and this year I am hoping for nothing less than encounter and breakthrough.
Here's the rules:
1. Do not grumble against God – repent when you do, thank Him
for who He is, what He does and what He Has done.
2. Do not grumble against
yourself - no negative speech about self or towards self and when you do
confess it and speak truth.
3. Do not grumble against others - confess it
when you do, and bless them despite what the reason is you are grumbling
against them.
4.
No policing one another. If someone does grumble encourage them by praying for
them.
5.
Post on social media daily what you are most grateful for. This can help keep
gratitude on the forefront of your mind as well as that of others who see what
you are grateful for.
So here I go...the first day with 39 more to go.
Day 1
I'm thankful the Lord has created me to be a safe place to fall for others. I've got a dear one in my spare room and another on the couch and my big momma's heart has never been so full. #WarOnGrumbling #HoodMom
I must like the number 40. Or maybe just scared from reading what happened to the Israelites when they grumbled. But when I heard about the 40 days of thanksgiving campaign launched by Nayomi Thomas, author of The Thankables (and wife of my favorite IHOP-KC worship leader Jaye Thomas), something inside me immediately said yessss. All I had to do was come up with something to be thankful for every day, post it on Facebook and include the hashtag #WarOnGrumbling so others could follow along. Easy right? Ha! What a journey...
I'm a nightwatcher by nature, so I decided to come up with my reason to be thankful for at midnight for 40 consecutive nights in November and early December 2013.
Day 1
I'm thankful that God never ever does anything on just one level. It's mind-bending seeing the multitudes of layers He can work on and that never ceases to awe me. #WarOnGrumbling
It was intriguing that I chose to do my little war of grumbling at the start of what I thought was a bad cold, but what turned out to be a nasty viral infection that lasted almost the entire 40 days. Oh the challenge of finding something to be thankful for when my body...just...wouldn't...heal. I was quite upset and a little freaked out, if I'm being honest. And then I had a moment of clarity. Although my body seemed to be failing, I suddenly realized my heart was being tested. Abba was prompting me to choose Him in the middle of this adversity. And honestly, a viral infection?! Pfft. I have several friends with life-threatening conditions and chronic illnesses and here I was whining about a really bad cold? It was a wake-up call for sure. Eventually it lifted, which is not something they get to experience very often. It definitely amped up my prayer life. I prayed...and prayed fervently...and prayed continually. I also asked for prayer from anyone who was asking, and even some people who weren't. My end gain was a lot more compassion to pray for my friends and what they are dealing with. Then, every night around midnight, I'd sit down and decide what I was most grateful for...and there was so much. And for the first time, I got to truly grasp what counting it all joy REALLY meant.
I'm thankful I can be honest.
