It's been one helluva week. Knowing we're spending the last days, maybe weeks with my mom has been difficult beyond words. Tonight, mostly to distract myself from the matters at hand, I followed through on a commitment to volunteer with World Vision at a Toby Mac concert.I may be a huge hip hop fan and I'm definitely a Christian, but I've never really followed Toby Mac. But God knew why I needed to be there.
There I was selling concert-goers World Vision sponsorships for kids in Cambodia, Nepal, Mongolia and Sri Lanka when Toby introduced a song featuring his former bandmates dcTalk. Called "Love Feels Like", he shared how it was written while caring for his ailing father, who has since passed away.
He started to sing and I just knew Papa was nudging me to pay attention and listen to the lyrics:
I am weary, I am worn // Like I’ve never been before
This is harder than I thought it’d be //
This is what love feels like //
Poured out, used up, still giving //
Stretching me out to the end of my limits
So there I stood in the middle of the foyer with tears streaming down my face. I knew the King of the universe had just set me up. I was convicted about the way I needed to position my heart with my mom in the days to come. I got the message loud and clear.
I am tired, I am drained
But the fight in me remains
I am weary, I am worn
Like I’ve never been before
This is harder than I thought
Harder than I thought it’d be
Taking every part of me
Harder than I thought
So much harder than I thought it’d be
But empty’s never felt so full
This is what love feels like
Poured out, used up, still giving
Stretching me out to the end of my limits
This is what love feels like
Poured out, used up, still willing to fight for it
Like floating confetti
The beautiful gets messy
When the fall out finds the floor
But in the depths of the trenches
Is the richest of riches
Love is calling us to more
And now these three remain
Faith, hope and love
But the greatest of these is love
It’s worth everything you put in
Love , This is what it feels like
#WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving
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