Friday, 21 October 2016

#WarOnGrumbling Day 5

I am thankful that God really knows me.

Today was one of those incomparably bad days. We found out my mom's cancer had spread to her brain, kidneys and vertebrae. It's not likely she will make it through the year. This, after my father passing in April. Argh.

I knew it was going to be a bit of a grueling day, so I asked God to make Himself known in the midst of everything. I'm well aware He is with me, but I just needed a little more closeness than usual.

The drive through the Interlake -- known as the land of inland oceans and infinite possibilities -- was lovely as always.

After meeting with mom's nurse and realizing the full impact of what was going down, I made some phone calls and asked my friends for prayer. 

I wandered over to Gimli's trademark breakwater for a stroll and I let Abba console me with a vista of Lake Winnipeg, a place so close to my heart.

Then I popped over to the new Alycia's and was thrilled to discover they had pyrizhky, tasty Ukrainian buns filled with sauerkraut. A family favourite, they were a great snack for mom and an easy dinner for myself (one thing I've learned in this grief journey is sometimes you just have to eat out). 

During my drive home, the sky was mostly overcast, but somehow most of the horizon was beautifully lit in a ribbon of peach and gold.

Later, on my way to my regular Thursday evening evangelism outreach, I walked through Portage Place and what was playing? "The Heart of the Matter" by Don Henley, a song that has spoken to me in so many difficult situations throughout my life.

So what's my takeaway? It's that the God I serve knew exactly what I needed in the midst of such a trying day. 

He knows I love driving on the prairies. He knows I needed time by the lake. He knows I'm a foodie and how munching on one of my childhood delicacies would soothe the hurt. He knows I needed beauty on the way home. And He knows exactly how much that song means to me.

He knows me. And knowing that makes me want to know Him more.

I've been tryin' to get down //
To the heart of the matter //
But my will gets weak //
And my thoughts seem to scatter //
But I think it's about forgiveness //
Forgiveness //
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

#WarOnGrumbling #40DaysOfThanksgiving


  1. this song means so much right now; thank you again for writing <3

  2. this song means so much right now; thank you again for writing <3